Pattai School. The designers thought carefully about this place.

The ILP section of the school where I teach English to 11 and 12 year olds in classes of 40+. Basketball court on the left where my liveliest boys try and get me to play. I try the odd three pointer but it's so hot! I don't know how they run around all the time.

The IP section of the school where I teach art to years 5 to 9 (9 to 14yr olds) and I also help out for two hours on a Monday afternoon on big class projects. Phew, I now teach 23 classes a week! It's a lot of planning to do but it keeps me busy.

The school cafeteria where we eat freshly cooked Thai food every day. Jamie Oliver would do a little dance if he saw what these kids eat! Dinner is free and most days it is very tasty, though I admit, somedays it's a little too Thai for me! So there is another cafeteria where you can get something plain like chicken and rice with a fried egg.

A catelogue shot of the ILP office space. We get free bread and chocolate milk everyday!

 The football pitch. We will take the team to glory. The heat is stifling to us farangs but the kids are out there whenever they get a chance.

This section is like a miniturised road system and the kids run around it like its a race track! Thai kids will make a game out of anything, a mentality I can definitely relate to.

Oh yeah, there's a 50 metre gorgeous swimming pool as well. We can't use it but wow, a 50 metre outdoor pool!

Gekkos Everywhere

The most prolific, predatory creature seen on an hourly basis is the Gekko. Averagely about 100mm long, they are everywhere. At school they crawl around the classrooms. At night they can be seen everywhere. And I've just discovered there is one living in my room! I came in this evening to discover it on the ceiling. It then wriggled it's way behind the fixed shelving system. No wonder there is a distinct lack of ants in my room. Everyone talks about trails of ants leading to their bins but I hardly see any, and I always have watermelon and apple cores in there. Turns out I have a resident expert in pest control! A welcome intruder, I'll try and get a picture of it next time I catch it in the open. :)

Good morning Teacher Dan

Its 5pm on Friday which means that I have successfully completed one full week of teaching! And without any planning whatsoever! Just freestyle teaching.

The school is massive, I still havn't discovered it all but I've found many different parts. It's a private school, divided into different grades depending on how much the parents have paid. The poshest kids learn in the International Programme (IP) and they learn English, science, maths, social studies and art in English and Thai! They also learn Chinese. This is where I teach art class. The next department is the Intensive Learning Programme (ILP) where they learn the normal subjects in Thai and five English classes a week. This is where I teach English. There are other grades going all the way to council kids in another part. Put it this way, there are 300 Thai teachers and 30 farang teachers!

Working in this heat in trousers, long sleeve shirt and a tie has been testing but I'm getting used to it. The 1st day was hot. The principal - Plah, pulled me out in front of the IP department and introduced as Mr Dan, who drives past Buckingham Palace every day! Haha, slightly misinformed but certainly entertained the kids. Then I basically got given rough lesson plans for the week and thrown in a class in the ILP department. Away I went. Each class has a Thai assistant that is there for extra control and to explain anything complex to the class. I teach three classes, all 11-12 year olds and my assistants are Ms Youee, Ms Plah (another Plah, which means fish!) and Ms Tip. They are lovely ladies that are very heplful but discipline is a problem. I wondered how I would deal with unruly kids and I surprised myself. In my P6 room 7 class there is a kid called Oh who is a maniac, probably got a mental problem but that doesn't exist in Buddhist culture. Anyway, that's another story. Oh is a nutter and infects the class around him, and I can spot a ringleader. Once he'd pushed it too far I changed my tone, pitch, volume and eyes almost instinctively and told him to get out of my class, 5 minutes, outside! Followed by an intimidating move towards him and more words, he froze and the class went chillingly silent. Once he was outside I changed my tone for the rest of the class, Thai is tonal and it appears to deeply affect them. They were shooken up and I reassured them that I want to help them, I made them laugh and went outside to speak to Oh. He was definitely the leader cause the rest of the Hydra metaphorically bled to death. Since then, he has been one of my best students!!! I could not believe it. I've got two other classes, P6/11 is gifted and full of smart kids that are a pleasure to teach and play games with. The other, P6/10 is 40 nutters that are pretty dumb except for one chinese girl. I'm trying to get her moved into 6/11 cause she needs a better environment and seems to be subject to bullying. Not happening. I now deeply understand the complexities of bullying down to the most subtle gesture. So I've already put those wheels in motion.

I've started off teaching art class to IP 5, 6 and 8. I prepared a great lesson utilising the only art book I have out here with me. A German, Ernst Haekl, saw beauty where scientists saw only form. So he used a microscope to illustrate perfect drawings of thousands of life forms. So my class was that you don't need a microscope, your eye is your microscope. Use it like one. Before each class I collected gorgeous still life from the area and I mean gorgeous (this is the tropics!!). I did not pick anything living, only things that had fallen already, Buddha is watching! :) Then set the class into groups and set up a still life for them. You would not believe it but they've never done a still life before. IP 6 gave me a bloody round of applause! Just for setting up 6 still life's for the groups. Then, I'd say 70 % produced the most amazingly intricate pieces while I ran round each class helping them out wherever they needed it. Half way through the first class I realised something about the kids, they were scared of getting it wrong! So I stopped them and said that, in my class, there is no right or wrong, effort is what counts. And then boom, away they went. I did this at the start of the next classes and the word has spread. Now principal Plah wants me to teach all the art classes to the posh kids! So next week I'll have IP 7 and 9 as well. The art teacher before is a nice bloke from Dublin but no experience in fine art and no feeling there, he also looks buzzing all the time! Half wasted, half wired. So the teachers were happy to switch their rotas around to fit with mine. Wicked! I keep having to control the boy in me, he's quite excited about the potential in these kids.

So, first week done, settled into the area perfectly. Made friends with just about everyone I've met that is western and many Thais. My Thai is improving, I'm reaching a stage of politeness now. Short interactions with waitors and everyone around the area. Your street is your home and I have something mildly embarrassing to put in this blog. Thailand is a respect culture, there is a beautiful respect between men and women, old and young but also sociological. Wait for this, the order of respect in Thailand goes... Buddhist Monk... King... Teacher! So some Thais even give you a little bow! It gets me an even better discount if I mention it but, my nature is not to take advantage of anyone so I've been avoiding it! But how funny.

Oh, before I post. Karaoke. It's like a national pastime. Last night we took a walk down a new street and found an amazing little restaurant, bit more expensive than the strip but still really cheap. Guy playing acoustic guitar on the stage singing beautifully just starts talking to us and asking us to sing. How can I say this, you feel so welcome and relaxed that no is not an answer. Well, turns out I'm not that bad at singing, (thank you Dad!) after about three or four songs I could finally sit down with the other teachers. A band came on that had a lead singer who looked like a Thai Santana! Called Billy and the Green Apples! Well, once they'd done a few songs he got me and a friend Callum (top northerner) up there to sing with the band! We nailed Hotel California (thanks again Dad!!) :), and then Cal did a runner and left me to sing Take it Easy, just me and the band. Surreal experience, the guy on lead guitar played the Eagle's solos note for note. Hotel California blew me away.

Right, if you're still reading then thank you. My typing is improving, as well as my English grammar. Did I mention that the Thai teachers smack the kids with rulers across the palm when they get something wrong? I didn't, yep, I have two English grammar classes in Thai to sit in on and help mark the work. The teacher smacks them (hard) with a plastic ruler and I feel it. Culture shock. I'll explain these another time, for now, I need a well earned 50p glass of Singha or two!!